I was 16 1/2 weeks pregnant...we were coming back from a family reunion with Dave's family and I just wasn't feeling "right" all day. I hadn't been feeling well since the beginning of pregnancy, so I chalked it up to the new normal "bliss" of being pregnant. We eventually got home after a long, slow car ride, and I tried to get comfortable, but eventually gave up and went to bed. I awoke in excruciating pain, shot straight up, and just knew we immediately had to get to the hospital. For 5 weeks leading up to this June 28th/29th morning, I had been in crazy pain, on my way lower right side, like a knife was piercing me from front to back inside my right hip. 5 weeks prior, the doctor discovered a cyst on the right ovary, which is apparently common in pregnancy, but my cyst was twisting (or torsion as they call it). I continued have bouts of pain every day sometimes once or twice, but I was very keenly aware of this cyst that we were "watching" and hoping didn't grow any larger. By the time this second unbelievable pain came around, within only moments, it was already elevated to my first time we ended up at the hospital after I was up all night and nearly passed out. So, we headed to the hospital - I remember feeling very queasy and every little jolt, bump or stop of the car was just a killer. They admitted me and I went through all the many hours waiting and waiting as in all hospital ERs, trying heat, ice, gas pills (they were convinced I had gas! If only I thought that were funny then), and eventually 2 rounds of morphine, which did nothing (yea, imagine that!). Anyway, eventually they gave me the beloved drug Demerol, with shots to me every 4 hours, but I didn't care. They were keeping me under 23-hour observation and the Demerol helped me sleep finally...until they decided on that Monday night that Tuesday morning they were going to go in and do exploratory surgery - they couldn't find out what was wrong from all the tests and they assured me it was "low risk" to my baby/pregnancy. So, I went into surgery, and distinctly remember thinking it was weird that they walked me into the surgery room and had me climb up to the stainless steel table and then they strapped me in...what happened to being wheeled in and knocking me out first like on TV? It was so bizarre to me. Next, I remember coming out of my sleep to this holding area and a kind nurse speaking to me. Of course, I asked immediately what happened and she said they removed my ovary and fallopian tube...and then she left. I was left to sit on that bed, assuming my baby was OK, but in utter shock and so alone...no one there that I knew to help me understand how I went in for "exploration" and came out losing 1/2 of my reproductive organs...no one there to tell me WHY that was the decision (and from a doctor I was already not pleased with, nor trusted completely)...no one there to tell me if my baby was OK..... After what seemed like forever, they finally took me back to the room, where Dave then explained a little bit more, and showed me pictures of my ovary and fallopian tube that had essentially been killed off due to this cyst twisting them several times and cutting off blood flow. From what I understand/remember, had I continued living with the pain and the cyst continued twisting (or stayed twisted), there is a good chance that EJ would have been "naturally" aborted (meaning, my body would have not be able to sustain her) and had anything ruptured, I may have died, too. Wow.
So, there are some very interesting things to me now, as I look back 2 years ago. For one, I very much remember feeling a sense of peace about the whole ordeal, while I was in it, which is not my normal reaction. Of course, there was a sense of "do whatever you have to do to get rid of this pain," but I believe it was more than that...I felt deep within my soul that my baby was going to be OK...I believe it was such a provision of the Lord to not only enable her to indeed be OK and bless me as a momma now, but the peace that allowed me to go into surgery with a fair amount of confidence that we'd both come out OK. In fact, as I think back about it, now I almost feel more anxiety, more sense of the seriousness of the situation, perhaps because I now know that our lives were at stake had things gotten worse. And, along with the peace that I felt pre-surgery, as I look at my daughter now and see the active bundle of joy and curiosity that she is, I am that much more convinced of the Lord's great blessing upon me to have had a successful surgery while being pregnant and giving her to me; when I think of the surgery and the realistic scariness that "anything could happen" on that table, I'm more and more amazed that she is here and blesses me so. Also, as I look back on it, I am of course saddened that Dave is not by my and EJ's sides as we journey through this side of surgery and birth. I'm still not sure how anyone could watch someone go through something like that and endure such a difficult 9 months of pregnancy, carrying your child, and then leave. I don't doubt the concern and compassion that I saw 2 years ago by my bedside - I just wonder what happened to it.
So, it is with mixed emotions that I look upon this date, though mostly in awe of God's provision of HER and of a safe delivery and healthy baby....
Below are some pictures I thought I'd share....
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4 incisions and a bloated tummy later (from the gas they blew in to enlarge my stomach)...this was about 3 or so days after surgery. This picture makes me look much more pregnant than I really was at the time!
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| The upper left picture in this one is the bad ovary - the ovary that was hemmoraged and damaged from having blood flow being cut off...the upper right picture is the fallopian tube in the same condition. And...the end on a good note for this picture, the bottom left frame is EJ inside that little sack! So precious and miraculous to me!!! |
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| Some wonderful, sweet friends from church came to clean up my house while I was in the hospital and before my dad and friend Laurie arrived for visits...and left me signs and balloons on top of that. |
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